Is Starting Over In Your 40s Worth It?

It's never too late to start over

When I left my home country a few years ago to start over in England, I didn't know what I was getting myself into. It was my first time stepping out of my comfort zone by leaving my family and friends to move to a country where I didn't speak the language.

I knew it wouldn't be easy for me to start over and build a life for myself in a country where I would never feel at home, but I was confident and ready to take a leap of faith. As daunting as it was to leave what I had known my entire life, it was more exciting for me to embark on a new journey, connect with new people, and immerse myself in a new language and culture.

So I moved to England, but my life didn't change much. I spoke French at home and mostly hung out with French people or other foreigners like myself, and still didn't speak the language, despite attending a language school to learn English.

Hardship Makes Character

I had a pretty good life in London. I met some people who became close friends, had a place to live, and a sister to rely on. Everything was fine, and I'm still grateful for the life I had back then, but I wasn't content with what I had; something was missing. So I left London to move to the north of England, and that's when my hardships in this country started.

I moved up north without a plan and ended up being homeless for a few days, then a friend from the language school in London helped me find a place to stay. My English wasn't good enough to get a decent job, so I lived off agency work for a few months until I finally secured a permanent position in a hotel. Life was hard, and I can't tell you how many times I cried in my bed, but I still didn't run back home.

The years spent in the north of England were without a doubt the hardest years of my life; things could've been better if I had met good people as I did in London, but it wasn't the case. Still, I wouldn't trade that experience for anything in the world because it shaped me as a person, and I wouldn't be who I am today if I hadn't stepped out of my comfort zone.

Each day is filled with promise, potential, and possibility.

When You Find That Special Place

My mother knew how hard life was for me in the city where I decided to live, and often asked me why I stayed instead of moving back to London or coming home. I visited the city for the first time for a weekend and fell in love instantly. I knew that's where I wanted to start over, and I never felt that way about London or any other city.

That's why I didn't feel like walking away, no matter how hard life was, I stayed and kept pushing until I learned the language, got a better job, and finally found a house my daughters and I called home until I left this summer.

Although my life has improved over the years and I have achieved many things, I haven't known a moment of peace since moving there. I had to prove myself and fight over and over again, and an incident at my job earlier this year triggered my decision to leave. So I walked away from the life I had spent many tears on and worked hard for to start over in London. It's been over 5 months since I gave up on my old life, and I think enough time has passed to reflect on my decision.

Never Too Late For A New Beginning

When I decided to start over, I knew from experience that things wouldn't be easy, but I was moving to a place I had lived before and didn't have to worry about the language barrier since I'm fluent in English now.

There's just one thing I didn't take into account when moving: my age. I honestly didn't think it would be an issue since it's never too late to start over, but I wasn't ready for the reaction, especially from people around my age, when they found out I moved to London this summer.

"Why did you move here? Why now, and aren't you a little too old to start over?" All these questions are written all over their faces; it seems puzzling to them that someone in their 40s would take such a risk. Let's be honest and call it what it is, a risk; I went from having my own house to sharing a house with strangers.

Don't Let Circumstances Define You

A couple of months after I moved, I wondered if it hadn't been a mistake to leave my old life to start over at my age. No matter how much confidence you have, you'll doubt yourself at some point, and it was the case for me just a few weeks after moving to London.

I felt lost in this big city, and nothing seemed to work out for me, no matter how hard I tried. So I asked myself if it was worth it to walk away from everything I had to start from scratch at 41. Then I remembered that I had it worse the first time I came to England; at least I have a place to sleep now, which wasn't the case when I moved to Manchester.

Things aren't going my way now, but it doesn't mean life won't get better. I was able to make a good life for myself because I didn't give up and never let my circumstances define me. I came to this country with a purpose that gave me the drive to keep going despite all the challenges I faced.

Finding A New Purpose In Life

I walked away from my old life because I had already achieved every goal I set for myself, and now I have to find a new purpose in London, a reason to get out of bed every day and face all the challenges life will throw at me.

It felt like a step back to have to start over again, and I'll continue regretting what I left behind if I keep looking back and comparing that life to my current one. The first step to starting over, regardless of your age, is learning to let go. I let go of everything the first time I came to England and let them go again when I moved to London.

One day, I will let them go once more when I'm ready to move back to my home country, where I'll have to start over again. It's a lot harder to leave your country than it is to move from one city to another, and I was confident in my decision to leave again because I've already done it once.

As long as you have something to look forward to, it will always be worth it to start over, whether in your 20s or 40s.

Ask your question

• Do you agree that it's never too late to start over?
• If your life needs a reset, go ahead and start over again